Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Four minutes until I can fart!
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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