I must be too annoying 4 u.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
