There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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