dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
