I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
