Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
