I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
