honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
