i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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