I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
