I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
