just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
i need some magic done to my vagina
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
