see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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