dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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