can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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