downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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