we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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