don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
