Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
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