there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
