Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
