I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
