I wish I only lived at night.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
