What did we do last night that was yellow?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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