I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Even my vagina gasped.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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