where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize