Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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