Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
