I bet he comes in French.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
