I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
