All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
