It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
