i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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