need another drink. this is the easiest way
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
