Soap is not a condiment
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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