if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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