we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
