I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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