Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize