Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
