have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize