that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
