omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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