I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
