Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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