she takes plan B like it's going out of style
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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