I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
