please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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