Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Its about making memories worth repressing
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
