Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
