.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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