It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
