Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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