I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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