Betty ford says i'm here all night
I am in a vortex of obligation.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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