found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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