hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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