He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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